April 1, I became an empty nester. My youngest daughter Breanna at the ripe age of 18 and a half moved out with her boyfriend into their own apartment. I need that half in there; some how it makes me feel a little better.
A little about Breanna: from the age of 10 Breanna always told me she would move out when she was 18. She also told me she wanted to move to France become a lawyer have a mohawk hair-do and drive a big 4 wheel drive truck. She did have the mohawk hair-do, she did study French in school however she doesn’t want to be a lawyer any more and she drives a little Ford.
I guess I really didn’t believe her when she said she would move out at 18. Little did I know the power of intention would show up here too.
I went grocery shopping with her, you know the first biggie shopping to buy all we need when we first move out…I kept thinking to myself, why the hey does she need all this stuff. It was a really weird feeling, like she is just going to be on a field trip or staying at a friends for a little while and then she would be back home.
I am not sure how I feel about this yet.. I notice myself walking into her empty bedroom and at times I feel a little sad and at times I think of all the possiabilties of what I want the bedroom to be now.
The empty bedroom seems to be representing a new start, a change, a time of newness.
Now that both of my daughters have moved out who am I now? I am still a mother, yet it really is different. They both still come to me for love and even advise and yet I can feel the difference. They are both out making their own way in the world now. I am holding on to knowing they are both strong wonderful loving women and I did my best as their mom.
So now what? Who am I now? Who do I want to be?
Like all of us, I play many roles in my life…
The role of a woman, as I get older and hopefully wiser. The role of wife and the many changes as we have grown together, the role of employee, business owner and now empty nester mom.
I have learned even in a role there are inner roles and the one thing that is for sure it is always changing.
“I can’t change the direction of the wind, but I can adjust my sails to always reach my destination.” Jimmy Dean