What do desktop clutter, inadequate tools for the job, a too-chatty co-worker and a troublesome relationship with the boss have in common?

They’re all tolerations, the little and big things we put up with—often without realizing it—that sap our energy and drain our life force. Every time we tolerate something, we deplete the energy we could be using to grow our business or make desired changes or to simply experience joy. It’s like living with a low-grade fever or pain that somehow dulls our experience and zaps our full vitality.

When am I going to get to all that paperwork? Zap!
Ughhh. I wish he would just be quiet. Zap!
My computer just froze again—the third time today. Zap!

At the root of our tolerations are a variety of limiting beliefs that immobilize us. For example: “I can’t take the time.” “That’s just the way it is.” “Don’t rock the boat—play it safe.” “Don’t complain or be too demanding.” “It’s not that important.” “I have no control.”

There are countless limiting beliefs, yet they all serve to dampen our life force and keep us playing small. And, boy, are they exhausting!

If we are committed to creating work and personal life that is balanced and fulfilling, if we want to fully express our unique gifts and be of service, it is necessary to consciously evaluate and eliminate the tolerations standing in our way. Here are some ideas on how to do that:

Appraise. Make an honest appraisal of what you are tolerating in each of the areas of your life: environment, health, work, money, relationship and so on. Write down everything that annoys you or that you feel you are putting up with. You will likely come up with more than 100 of these tolerations!

Choose. Based on your values and goals, you get to choose. What will you say “no” to? “Yes?” Make sure the “yeses” really excite you. Commit to making them real!

Plan. With the support of your coach, friends or family, develop a strategy for eliminating these tolerations. You don’t have to do it alone—in fact, it’s more fun to partner up or create a support team.

Verify. Create accountability around your goals, with specific deadlines for eliminating tolerations. How many and which ones will you eliminate each day?

Evaluate. Examine each underlying limited belief that has kept you putting up with these things. Again, get support to help you break through them. You may be so close to some of these beliefs that you can’t fully recognize them for what they are.

Appreciate. Take an honest look at what you are getting out of keeping things as they are. There is always some kind of payoff for whatever is going on in your life. Who in your life—or what part of you—does not want things to change? Appreciate that person or part, and look for ways for it to be win-win for all concerned.

Request. Remember that complaints are usually unspoken requests. What requests do you need to make?

As you eliminate tolerations, you will feel the joy of being at choice, an increase in your vitality and a sense of empowerment. And then YOU will be in the driver’s seat…and won’t that be a beautiful and worthwhile ride!

So now it is your turn. What are you tolerating? Share your thoughts and ideas below.

To your success and happiness,
The Team at Edge Of Change

Changing What Matters


  1. As usual Corrine, you are right about not allowing distractions and making mindful choices. Now, into my second book I have had to change my social responses quite a bit. I have gently stopped tolerating distractions by explaining my need for focus on my writing process. The channeling for this book is so strong and solid I am committed to using the gift I’ve been given. I knew I must understand I had continually allowed these distractions because I didn’t want anyone to dislike me or feel now that I was writing I no longer resonating with their energy.Interestingly enough those who love and support me have had no problem giving me space, others just became insulted and dropped away.

    I am so glad you keep sharing your Wisdom around the country and so glad you and Mike are working together. Hugs Paula

    1. Corrine, In writing my second book I’ve gently explained to friends and family my process and need for focus each day. I came to realize I always allowed distractions because I feared being disliked or not loved. Now those who have been insulted by words have dropped away. those who love and support me are still here in life and in spirit. Congrats to you and Mike for sharing your wisdom around the world. Paula

    2. Hi Paula,
      I like how you said you gently stopped tolerating distractions. To me gently means you became very clear on what you wanted and skillful share your needs with others.. Nice

  2. Corrine, I came to realize I’ve always allowed distractions due to a fear of losing love from either family or friend.Those have dropped away, the rest are true in life and spirit right here.Paula

  3. Corrine, After I stopped the distractions, those who love and support me are still here.the rest left.Paula

  4. The rest do not matter… Miguel Ruiz states so perfectly in The 4 Agreements “What others think of us is none of our business”
    March On!

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