Sometimes when we are going through the stages of change, our negative emotions can get the best of us. Two of the big emotions we often feel are blame and shame.

When an unexpected change is thrust upon us, it is natural to want someone to blame.  Sure, there is usually a person who delivers the “change” message, yet sometimes that person is nothing more than the messenger. Holding onto the belief that someone is to blame may make you feel better, although it will take you longer to move through the change process.

Another emotion people often feel when faced with a change is shame. Maybe you didn’t get the promotion, maybe the business didn’t succeed, or maybe that person wasn’t right for you after all.

Shame is a debilitating emotion. It serves no purpose whatsoever and needs to immediately be squelched. Remind yourself that you did the best you could under the circumstances. Learn from the experience. Simply refuse to feel shame. Replace the chatter in your head with positive language.

Your negative emotions do not have to get the best of you. Instead of feeling blame or shame, ask yourself what you have learned, and what will you do differently the next time.

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