Tips That Can Help You Tune In

Emotional intelligence is like rapport. With emotional intelligence you are able to tune in to the behavior and emotions of others and make adjustments so the relationship flows.

You see it when teams work well together.  They move in sync, in rhythm.

For some, this comes naturally, and for others it requires a conscious effort.   However, the payoff is worth the effort.
People who have good rapport with others:

  • experience increased happiness,
  • solve problems more creatively,
  • perform at a higher level, and
  • are more fulfilled.

In a world filled with techno-communication at unprecedented speeds, it is easy to understand why some psychologists predict we are losing our ability to develop rapport–even with the people we care most about.  Do not let that happen to you or the people you are leading. Here are some tips that can help you tune in to those around you to build rapport and create meaningful relationships:

  • Look people in the eye. Rapport is strengthened when eyes lock.
  • Show real interest in others. Stop what you’re doing and be an enthusiastic listener.
  • Ask questions to help others open up.
  • Enjoy comfortable silence. You do not always need to talk to connect.
  • Show appreciation for small, routine things as well as big accomplishments.
  • Share your thoughts and feelings.

As you practice building rapport today, be on the lookout for others doing the same.  Notice the flow.

Continually grow your emotional intelligence by paying attention to the physical and emotional rhythms of those around you and be prepared to make smooth adjustments as needed to honor others and yourself.

When that happens, life flows like a well-rehearsed melody.

How can you tune in today for better connections with others?

The New Adventure

When people ask me what are you up to these days?  I say, we’re packing, sorting, taking a few things to storage and packing the RV and getting ready to take to the road on our new adventure…

The different responses have been interesting from WOW that is exciting, to really why would you want to do that.

This Thursday we are turning the keys of our home over to the Estate Sale Company that will be handling our estate sale. We are pretty much selling off 95% of everything we own and they want us out of the house to set everything up.

Mike and I with our dog and cat will be staying in our RV while they are setting up for the big sale, which is the 11th and 12th of June.

After the sale we will come back into the house for the cleanup and getting her, the house, looking all wonderful for the walk through by the new owners (yes we sold the house) on the 15th.  The house closes on the 17th.

The new owners are renting us back the house until July 6th which is wonderful because our daughter will be getting married on June 26th… YES, through all of this we have the wedding.

So we’re back into the house on the 14th to clean up and also to set up for family to come in town for the wedding.  Since everything will be gone we will be using blow up beds, folding tables and chairs… Sure glad the family is being very understanding.

WOW… When I say it out loud and write it out I have to take a big breath and calm myself down because the emotional roller coaster can really take me for a ride.

Mike and I both are really starting to go into the” BUT WHAT IF’s” mode as we are going through the final things in the house in preparation for it all…

Remember the Steve Martin movie; I think it was called The Jerk, where he walks around the house saying all I need is this chair and this lamp? That is what it is starting to feel like.

Mike will say; BUT what if we need this (holding up some kind of tool) and then I do it with; BUT what if I need this (holding up something that has to do with my painting stuff, cooking or work)

I know in my head that the “BUT WHAT IF’S” will do two things… One, have us question if we REALLY will need it, also I know that the “BUT WHAT IF’S” can keep us from what is possible!

I am reminding myself that “AND if” I really need it I can pick it up somewhere out there on the road where ever we are.  BUT I tell ya, it is NOT easy when I am on the emotional roller coaster.

Knowing our WHY we want to do this is keeping us going through the up’s and down’s.

Mike and I are truly at the Edge Of Change and believe me we are getting to remind each other to use every tool we have in our tool belt…

It is all good and it reminds me that when we learn new things, regardless of what they are, it is hypothetical until we get to apply the learning and then it truly can become knowledge .

As our new journey in life unfolds and takes place you will be hearing more and more about what is happening in hopes to share on a deeper and more meaningfully connection to ourselves, to each other and to you.

A New Beginning

A New Beginning

With change comes leaving behind the old and stepping into a new beginning. An ending is what makes the beginning possible. After all, that is the order of things isn’t it?

Leaves change and fall from the trees in the autumn only to reemerge in the spring. One day everything seems to be falling apart; and the next day, life goes on as usual. Every change has an ending that prepares us for new growth, new activities, and new beginnings.

New beginnings are like new energy released in a new direction. You will notice that you are making new beginnings in your life when you:

*Spend more energy on the future than the past or even the present.
*Shift your focus to something new and your productivity increases in that area.
*Feel your morale increasing as you look forward to something new.

There is a rhythm to the whole process of your old identity being renewed into a new identity and purpose. And when we are ready to make a new beginning, opportunity will be waiting for us.

Begin somewhere; you cannot build a reputation on what you intend to do. -Liz Smith

YAY to New Beginnings!

To your success and happiness,

Dealing with Change at Work

Dealing with Change at Work

The world of work is changing at an extraordinary pace. The old rules no longer apply, and new rules are being written and rewritten all the time.

These changes can be unsettling, whether they’re potential or actual, positive or negative.

You may be gearing up for a promotion, staring at a wide open field of new prospective clients or launching new products and services. Or you may be hunkering down in the face of outsourcing, downsizing, mergers, takeovers, and local and global competition.

How We Respond to Change
As soon as something nudges you out of your regular routine, or challenges your understanding of how the world works and where you fit into it, it will likely trigger a deluge of feelings, including fear, anxiety, overwhelm, excitement, distraction or denial.

In turn, these feelings can manifest in your behavior. You may, unconsciously, act out with aggressive or passive-aggressive communication, both at work and home. You might feel compelled to push yourself and others to overwork, or take the opposite approach and procrastinate, avoiding the work that’s on your plate.

On a personal level, your self-care may suffer. You may reach for unhealthy substances or behaviors, get less sleep, skip meals or overindulge. You might cut yourself off from friends and family and spend more time alone or with other people who have unhealthy habits.

The Impact
Both positive and negative stress can have immediate and long-term detrimental effects.
Stress inhibits proper digestion and the absorption of nutrients, impairs your body’s ability to ward off germs and illness, can cause insomnia, and is guaranteed to worsen any preexisting health conditions. If you are also engaging in unhealthy behaviors and poor self-care, you’re at an even higher risk for serious illness and injury.

Dealing with change requires flexibility, resilience and an ability to think on your feet.

Unfortunately, when you are caught up in your reaction to change, these mental abilities are affected as well. When you’re preoccupied, worried, and focused on the future instead of the present, it’s much harder to concentrate and apply your brainpower to what’s in front of you.

Great leaders are admired for their serenity and confidence even in the face of uncertainty and upheaval. For many of us, though, when change is afoot serenity is far from our reach. Instead, emotions are much closer to the surface and can flare up at the most inopportune times. Whether you lash out, cry, or pound on your desk behind closed doors, it’s incredibly uncomfortable to feel so out of control.

Consider, also, the impact on the people around you. Emotional outbursts, whether at work or home, can irrevocably damage your effectiveness, your reputation and your relationships.
Strategies for Success

Here are five strategies to help you remain flexible, resilient and serene in the face of change:

1. Take care of your body. Eat well, sleep well and refrain from harmful habits like smoking, excessive drinking, recreational drugs or other risky behavior.

2. Take care of your mind. Stay in the present moment by practicing deep breathing and/or meditation. Challenge your negative thinking and keep things in perspective; when the doom and gloom sets in, ask, “How important is this, really?”

3. Keep your emotions in check. Find reasons to smile and laugh, even when you don’t feel like it—especially when you don’t feel like it! Funny movies, blogs or videos can help. Vent your negative feelings by exercising, banging on a drum or pounding on a pillow.

4. Treat others well. Strengthen your good relationships so you can draw on their support and work at your challenging relationships so they don’t add to your stress.

5. Take charge. Be proactive and prepare the best you can for the changes that might come, and then accept the reality of the moment. Think back to other challenges that you’ve come through and remind yourself that everything will work out okay this time, too.

Change is good. It’s also often hard and to succeed in business and life, you must run towards it.
Here are a few quotes to help inspire you to embrace change for yourself and your business, to adapt, to grow and to win.

 It is not the strongest or the most intelligent who will survive but those who can best manage change. –Charles Darwin

Adaptability is about the powerful difference between adapting to cope and adapting to win. –Max McKeown

The art of life is a constant readjustment to our surroundings. –Kakuzo Okakaura

Adaptability is not imitation. It means power of resistance and assimilation. –Mahatma Gandhi

People will try to tell you that all the great opportunities have been snapped up. In reality, the world changes every second, blowing new opportunities in all directions, including yours. –Ken Hakuta

To your success and happiness,

Key to a Healthy Culture

We all want to work in a culture that’s energizing, healthy and thriving. We know how successful value based businesses can be, take Zappos and Wholefoods Markets as examples.

In addition to operating by a set of vibrant values – a key to a healthy corporate culture is vulnerability.
Operating based on conscientious values creates vulnerability – it also requires courage.

There is never one without the other. We want innovation and creativity however vulnerability, for most of us, is something we would rather avoid.

There are places in our lives, perhaps at home, where we do not have as much trouble being vulnerable, in other settings, like in business, that’s a different matter.

For many of us we armor up before heading off to work, limiting our vulnerability but at the same time our courage, innovation and creativity are also limited – we lock it all up being careful how we show up.

The irony of vulnerability is that while we may not love the feeling of being exposed – it is the foundation of courage.

We love courage, we watch movies that celebrate the hero, we share posts on social media that talk about someone’s perseverance despite tough circumstances. We love a fighter, someone that has overcome difficult situations, and there’s never been a non vulnerable hero. Think about it…

What does vulnerability look like at work?

Vulnerability could be:
•Asking for help from a co-worker when you feel like you should be able to handle it.
•Letting someone know that you’re overwhelmed with the workload.
•Asking to have something (re)explained to you when you feel like you should already know it but don’t.
•Saying “I am Sorry”.
•Messing up and taking responsibility.
•Holding yourself and others accountable.
•Having those difficult conversations.
•Learning new tools.

Vulnerability is the courage to run with a new idea and to explore possible new ways to tackle a current challenge -developing a new process or product, developing your leadership skills, and being willing to fail as well as be successful.

Vulnerability feels scary and it can be. It’s also the birthplace of connection, innovation, accountability and creativity.

If you want yourself, your teams and your organization to thrive, create a culture that is open to being vulnerable. That kind of courage will enable you to stand out amongst your competition and keep you forging ahead in an ever evolving marketplace.

Brené Brown says “You can choose courage or you can choose comfort but you can’t have both”

When you chose to live and work more vulnerably, you’re also choosing to be more courageous. And, as we step into being vulnerable it is the portal for others to do the same…

To being courageous,
Corinne McElroy