Quiet Leadership

When we think of leadership, we often think of the commanding visionary who takes charge in a time of crisis, leading his/her team to victory when all hope seems lost.

However, there’s another form of leadership that may ultimately achieve higher, more long-lasting performance. We call this style “Quiet Leadership.”

Quiet leaders lead by example, and bring out the behavior they want in others by modeling it themselves, rather than telling others what to do.

Quiet leaders also tend to take the coaching role, asking guiding questions that elicit each person’s unique genius, as opposed to offering advice. This is a wonderful way to empower your team, by teasing out their inner brilliance and helping them see how capable they are.

This style of leadership creates a culture of contribution and collaboration. Rather than giving everyone a figurehead to appease, quiet leaders empower their teams to make decisions, share ideas, and show initiative, while providing ongoing support and mentorship.

The best part of quiet leadership is that it doesn’t require a dire crisis to avert. You do not have to wait until everything hits the fan and the whole enterprise is on fire. Rather, you can start supporting and uplifting your team today.

You do not have to be a CEO, or member of upper management to be an influential quiet leader. You can apply this style as a parent, neighbor, or even as a caring friend.

Quiet leaders might not ever be the epic hero at the center of a harrowing tale, and they are often the most respected & adored, and their endeavors tend to stand the tests of time.

Coaching Tip: Help for Time-Starved Communicators

Coaching Tip:  Help for Time-Starved Communicators

Even though we live in an age with more communication tools than ever (Facebook, email, Twitter, texting), we are not necessarily more connected with the people around us.  Many of us yearn to be more connected with our loved ones and friends.  In addition, we long for more effective and efficient communication in the workplace.  The amount of busyness in a person’s life can hinder their ability to communicate effectively.  Here are some tips to help, if you are a time-starved communicator.

Consider the important people in your life, and what form of communication works best for them.  Then think about how often you would ideally communicate with them.  Does your boss like a or weekly status report over email?  Does your mother like a phone call once a week for thirty minutes?  Do your kids each crave ten minutes of your undivided attention at bedtime?

Once you’ve identified these things, look at what needs to change in your life to make room for your communications.

Ultimately, communicating effectively saves you time.  Be intentional, and make your communications work for you, not against you.

Reminder: Behaviors drive results. Overall what are the results you want?

To your success and happiness
Corinne McElroy
Leadership Coach
www.edgeofchange.com

The Impact of Assumptions on Leadership

The Impact of Assumptions on Leadership

We all make assumptions. We naturally fill in gaps in what we think and perceive so that we can make sense out of our world and our experiences.

Sometimes the assumptions we make are accurate; sometimes they are inaccurate. Sometimes assumptions are productive; sometimes they are counter-productive. Sometimes assumptions build community; sometimes they destroy. Sometimes they save us time; sometimes they waste time. The assumptions you make can build bridges or destroy them. They can make peace or start a war.

Picture someone whom you know pretty well. What is one assumption you make about that person? Where does your assumption come from? Why do you have that assumption? How does that assumption influence your behavior toward this person? Have you ever asked the person to confirm or refute your assumption? What would happen if you shared your assumption with this person?

As a leader, you have an obligation to notice you are making assumptions and then to check them out, particularly when you make an assumption that is negative in nature. Negative assumptions are particularly risky to hold on to. They create resistance and resentment. They fuel blame and anger. They get in the way of productivity and positivity.

The first step is to notice the presence of an assumption. Once you notice that you are making an assumption, consider communicating it. The purpose of communicating it is to have it confirmed or denied. This creates open communication, honesty, and an opportunity to clear the air or rectify a misunderstanding.

There are different ways to communicate an assumption. One way, perhaps the simplest, is to say it directly – tell the other person that you are carrying an assumption, and that you want to share it with him or her to determine if it is accurate or not. It may sound risky – and sometimes it is – and an unspoken negative assumption is much more dangerous than one that is spoken. When an assumption is brought out, an opportunity for healing, growth, productivity, and relationship-building is created.

If you are carrying a positive assumption, you have more latitude to decide if you want it to be unspoken, even unspoken positive assumptions can sometimes get in the way.

Whenever you make assumptions, you have an impact on your experience and the experience of others. Generally, it is best to notice your assumptions and communicate them to others.

To your success and happiness,
Corinne McElroy CPCC, ORSC
Edge Of Change

 

Why is effective communication so powerful?

The answer to that question can be found in a quote by Kim Krizan from the movie “Waking Life,”

“Language comes from our desire to move beyond our isolation and have some sort of connection with one another. Words by themselves are lifeless, they’re inert. They’re nothing more than symbols. So much of our experience is intangible; so much of what we perceive cannot be adequately expressed. And because of that, when we communicate with one another, and we feel we’ve connected, that we’re understood— it’s almost like having a spiritual communion with that person.”

What we all want from one another is to connect. When we connect, we feel a special affinity toward the person who we believe really understands us.

Communication is how your message is delivered and how it is received. It is two-way, involving both the sender, and the receiver.

Effective communication involves more than words, it includes your body language, what “voice” you use, and the art of listening.

To your success and happiness,
Corinne McElroy

What are YOU expecting?

The other day I was telling someone a story about something that had happen to me years ago. As I was getting to the part where I was the victim I realized “wow I’m still telling that story as if I WAS the victim”

If you have not heard of “reframing” or “cognitive restructuring” I would look into it. There is a lot of good work being done with it.

Then I thought, because of those “stories” I am already expecting something.  In almost every situation I find I have some sort of expectation. Meaning that I still look through those “rose colored glasses” or whatever color glasses my stories happen to tint them.  And, because of that, I am expecting some sort of something, good bad or indifferent.

Corinne calls those glasses BS. (our Belief System through which we filter everything.)

I do not mean to, sometimes it just happens if I’m not being open to the moment being new (if that makes sense). Then I realized I’m not just expecting something because of my BS, I’m accepting it as well.

Since then I’ve been looking at “What am I expecting? What am I accepting?” and “Is this the story I want to tell?” So, knowing I can’t get more then I will accept. I’m working on not expecting anything and accepting only what is best for me.

Whew! Epiphanies come when you least expect them. I’ll accept that.

What were you expecting?

Well, whatever it was I hope you will accept a gift from us here at Edge Of Change.  It is Corinne’s birthday this month and in Hobbit tradition she wanted to give everyone a birthday present. Not that I’m calling her a Hobbit just that she really liked those stories.

Mike McElroy

Click here to get Corinne’s gift to you (no strings attached)