Living for Saturday

The other day I overhead a couple of older women talking to each other and it really struck me when one of them noted that another Saturday was coming up. Listening to this, I knew that Saturday, for these women, was just another day that was going to pass until they eventually died. The waiting to pass on. and the counting of the days until that point, had become the main focus of their lives. This made me think about what Saturdays mean to the rest of us – for some, it is the day we live for. For others, Saturday holds significance because we know that we ought to be doing something other than working yet we get up and head into the office anyway. So what does Saturday mean to you? Is this meaning one that suggests an imbalance in your life?

Work/Life balance discussions often seem to center on younger women managing both a career and a household. We want you to know that this discussion will not be focusing on that specific challenge. The coaching staff at Edge of Change believes that this is a struggle everyone must confront on a day-to-day basis regardless of a personal or specific situation. Whether you are a woman or a man; a parent of young children, an empty-nester, or have not had children; and whether or not you are a high paid executive or a stay at home parent –every single individual balances different roles and often struggles to be successful in all roles at all times.

Balancing the demands of work with those of our families and those of our own selves is a need we all have in order to live a fulfilling life – a life that leads us to a place where we are not simply counting the days until we die, but one rich in exciting events that lead us to look forward to each day as an unique opportunity. In order to make authentic choices, we first need to examine the trade-offs of each choice we make. If, for example, we have a project to complete at work and we have a child’s soccer game to attend at the same time, we need to make a decision. The only way you can be honestly appreciative of the choice that you make in a situation such as this is by shining the light on all of the ways the choice will affect your life. What are you saying “yes” to and what are you then saying “no” to?

If you make authentic choices for yourself, your career, and your family on a consistent basis then you will not need to live for Saturday because you will be living for yourself at all times. Make a point to do this so you can look forward to every day – not just Saturday.

Coaches Challenge

Here is your challenge for this month, print out the following worksheet. For every choice you make this month write it down in the “yes” column and then write in what you are saying “no” to in the corresponding column. There will always be something you are saying “no” to whenever you say yes to something else. Be honest with yourself and you will be able to see clear patterns emerge and you will start to understand what it is that you truly need to do in order to find balance. Keep this worksheet handy as we will build on this process next month!

Click Here to Download Worksheet

Becoming a Transformational Leader

What do you think of when you picture a leader? For most of us, myself included, we still envision some sort of cross between a powerful executive and a general leading troops into battle. A type of person born with a charisma that gives them an unspoken authority – even though that type of leadership no longer works in as many places as it once did. I am certain that on a battlefield or in dangerous work environments it can be a very useful leadership style. For most of us however, the powerful leader with a thousand helpers model only serves to alienate our workforce or causes them to resent us. The fact that our idea of leadership is so tied up with an idea that no longer holds the power it once did can make the task of leading that much more difficult. I want to introduce you to a new style of leadership that many of you probably already utilize without thinking about it, transformational leadership.

Transformational leaders work in a way far more subtle than their authoritarian counterparts.  Instead of giving orders they tend to parcel out projects, and authority, to those that work under them and offer them guidance and help as they require it. The model is much more like a mentor or a coach than a genius who requires monkeys to do their bidding. This approach has many advantages as it encourages independent and creative thinking amongst a person’s staff and new solutions and approaches to challenges become abundant. It allows each individual within the team to value their own strengths and respect those of others which creates an environment of mutual respect. As a transformational leader, one does not have to have all the solutions, but rather has a vision that inspires everyone on the team to perform at their highest level.

Importantly, this is the only reliable form of leadership for our times.  We have all noticed the dramatic changes that have taken place in the workforce over the past 10, much less 50, years. In the late 1970s women started entering the workplace en mass. In the 80s and 90s computers began to dominate workplaces shifting the emphasis from brute strength to intellectual rigor, and the number of different generations occupying the same work space has skyrocketed as older workers tend to stay at jobs for longer. A major strength of the younger generations working today is their willingness to question authority and innovate – something the governments of China and Singapore regularly study about Americans. The older generations offer wisdom and experience and when these two groups work in harmony the results can be astounding. Yet this dynamic environment can make leading a challenge unless you use a transformational style that includes everyone in the process.

A transformational leader approaches leadership in a fundamentally different way than the older leadership models. As a transformational leader you must, first and foremost, offer a compelling vision for others to buy into. It could be as grand as changing the world in which we live through the work you do or as focused as being the most productive and helpful team in your organization. A vision that allows everyone to be included can bring everyone on board together and encourages people to work through petty differences or personal issues because of the greater good the vision offers. A great example from history comes from the space race of the 1960’s. Nearly everyone in America felt involved in putting the first man on the moon even though a relatively small percentage of the population directly worked on the project. By offering this compelling vision to others you help them feel personally involved in the overall mission and this will bring out the best in your workforce.

The next key in being an effective transformational leader comes from a place of generosity and authentically wanting others to be their very best.  It is very easy to become so focused on our own ideas that we shut the ideas of others out. A transformational leader works against this tendency by soliciting the ideas and opinions of others. Transformational organizational cultures will even offer employees time to work on projects of their own creation. A major strength of Google comes from the two hours of every work day in which team members are required to work on independent projects. This has given Google the innovative edge by allowing them to bring to markets thousands of product offerings that would not have been possible if the senior leadership controlled every decision about which products workers ought to spend their time on. A transformational leader often has an open door policy allowing workers to bring in new and creative ideas and the willingness to let people run with their ideas coming in only to update you and ask for guidance as needed. Of course not every single project will be given the full go-ahead at the end of the day, though the goodwill generated by allowing this type of creative and independent thinking will build priceless amounts of cooperation and enthusaism amongst employees – causing them to feel much more driven and passionate about their personal involvement with the company.

In addition to encouraging these creative and independent lines of work, a transformational leader must call attention to the individual strengths offered by each employee during team meetings. This could simply be an opportunity for everyone to update each other on their personal projects and solicit advice and feedback from everyone on the team. As the leader, you will have set a tone that involves everyone in any project that helps move the company or team closer to the guiding vision and each team member will intuitively understand that asking the opinions of others only makes them stronger. This prevents the type of turf-warfare seen at so many places of business and can go a long way in building a high-performance team.

Consider your own leadership style now and think about what changes you need to make in order to truly become a leader that transforms others and the business. Do you need to work on creating that compelling vision and getting the message out to others? Perhaps you need to work on relinquishing creative control over every single project? Take a moment and write down the first step you must take in order to become a transformational leader. For more information and interactive exercises that will develop your transformational leadership style please contact us at Corinne@edgeofchange.com

Fierce Conversations by Susan Scott

Of the many books I have read on leadership and communication, Fierce Conversations by Susan Scott has really stood out to me over the years. Although it has been at least five years since I read the book, the points she makes about open and honest communication have resonated deeply with me. In Fierce Conversations, Susan Scott writes about a type of communication that is robust, intense, powerful and unbridled. She calls this communication “fierce.” Fierce conversations demand that we have the courage to be powerful communicators; and powerful communicators know that “the conversation is not about the relationship – the conversation is the relationship.” The quality of our relationships at work and at home relates directly to the quality of our communication, and the key to having quality communication is to be real and extremely honest – even though it may be outside of our comfort zone.

Of the seven principles laid out in the book, one that struck a chord with me was principle number two: “come out from behind yourself into the conversation and make it real.” According to Scott, when we get real with the people in our lives we avoid unnecessary costs to our business and our relationships. A business that supports real interaction opens itself to feedback, and gets excited about improving to be the best of the best. Being real in conversations gets us away from the judgments we place on other people because we have to be real with ourselves first. By coming out from behind ourselves and getting away from judgments, we save ourselves and our organizations invaluable time and money. Instead of excuses or finger pointing, people begin to take accountability for their own communication. So often we lack the courage to be real in our communication and we create additional headaches for ourselves. I find myself pointing this out over and over to a wide variety of coaching clients who have trouble seeing that the real issue they are confronting lies with the communication between the parties, and being real in my communication with clients is the single most important piece of a successful coaching relationship.

The other six principles provide great information and learning, and will serve you as a person – not just you as a business person or you in your personal world. Scott correctly points out that it doesn’t matter where we are or what hat we have on – good communication serves us in every part of our life.  Be sure to read Susan Scott’s Fierce Conversations for more information on how to have conversations that change lives. If you want more information on communication that leads to successful outcomes be sure to drop us an email at Corinne@edgeofchange.com

Click here to purchase the book through Amazon

Leadership From The Inside Out

What is leadership? This question, in some form or another, comes up in nearly all of my sessions as a coach. One reason for this is that leadership is truly important to me, and I think leadership goes beyond a title, beyond behavior and directly to the core of who a person is. In fact, I believe that it would be impossible to lead unless one approaches it personally. This means that no explanation can accurately describe leadership for everyone – understanding it may be one of the most important personal journeys you will take in life. Speaking from personal experience, the question of how I lead and how I serve constantly informs me in my business and my personal life.

This month I am introducing you to one of my favorite books on leadership, Leadership from the Inside Out. When first released in 1999, the book spent months on the bestseller list and continues to be a favorite in business book clubs like 800-CEO-READ. Despite this, many of my clients have not heard of it until I recommend it which is why I want to highlight it this month.

Leadership from the Inside Out focuses on internal development. The author, Kevin Cashman asserts that within each of us lie the tools we need to be successful leaders in all areas of our lives. The key to unlocking these tools and putting them to the best use is personal growth. Authentic leadership, according to Cashman, starts at a deep level. While many of us spend hours focusing on our external results, the best leaders spend that time developing who they are  – our purpose, vision, core values, and our character. From this starting point we can begin to lead effectively and garner those measurable, external results we crave.

This book actually doubles as both an information source and a workbook that will guide you through the learning. My own copy has been well used and scribbled on as I have grown over the past 8 or so years I have owned it. I sincerely hope that you will purchase, read and take advantage of the space provided for personal reflection and questions offered. I know that it will augment all of your leadership learning regardless of whether you have taken formal leadership training courses, used a leadership coaching service like Edge of Change, or have found your own resources as a self-taught leader.


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Are You Acting Like A Child?

When was the last time you acted like a child? I’m not talking about pouting or throwing a temper tantrum when you didn’t get your way – I’m talking about having fun and playing! Often as adults we get caught up in the seriousness of life. We have bills to pay, work to complete, a house that needs cleaning, homework to help with, dinner to make… just reading that list exhausts me, how about you? Given this, how can we possibly have any time to play or explore our curiosity? Only when we make play the priority in our life it deserves and needs to be.

Playing is perhaps the most important thing we can do for ourselves and for those we care about. Did you know that children learn the most through active play? It doesn’t matter how many classes we have them take or how many educational toys we provide, studies show that kids who engage in creative play on a regular basis are best equipped for success in life. We all remember a cardboard box that meant something special to us – whether we imagined it as a fort, a castle, a playhouse, an escape hatch or all of those things. Play allowed us to explore the world around us, discover new things and learn about ourselves as children, and not so surprisingly, it serves us in exactly the same way as adults.

Think about something you can do that is just plain fun. It accomplishes no other goal than having a good time. Maybe you can go to an arcade and play racing games with your significant other or have a water fight with your kids – surprise them by having the water balloons or squirt guns ready and strike when they aren’t expecting it. Challenge your friends to a game of capture the flag or mini golf. Play Marco Polo in the pool. Raid a toy store and grab some of those cool new toys they have for the kids these days for your own games. Leave the kids with a sitter and go to an amusement park with kids your own age. Whatever play means to you just get out there and do it!

Take the spirit of play to your team at work. Declare a day of play in which your team can have a costume contest, a pajama day or time in the park. Have a fun meeting in which everyone brings toys and games. Have them create little plays to put on or just provide art supplies and have everyone get artistic. Not only will this increase morale for the day, the dividends of
a single hour or day of play will bring fresh ideas to the company and a spirit of cooperation to the team members.

This activity strikes some of us as silly until we actually do it. Once we have taken the time, we remember how much fun life can be. It relaxes us and often gives us new ideas that we can implement in our personal and business lives. It improves our relationships by providing memories of fun times spent together, and our health benefits from all the laughing and joy we
experience by acting like kids again. Get out there and enjoy your life like you did when you had few responsibilities and you will find that the responsibilities you have now seem lighter after you have played.

One more reminder, share the joy of laughter with those you love and respect.

Coaches Challenge:

Share how you play now and what you will do to play more. How can you involve your family in play and how can you bring the spirit of play to work. Now get out there and do it!