Edge of Change Articles

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Taking Stock

Ancient Romans named the month of January for Janus, their god of gates, doors and beginnings. Always pictured with two faces—one looking toward the future, the other back at the past—Janus is a fitting symbol for the turning of a new year.

As we step through the doorway from one year to the next, it’s natural to do as Janus does: look back and ahead. And this year, instead of just reflecting on the past year or making New Year’s resolutions, consider using this first part of the year to take stock of your life.

Who are you? What do you believe? What do you really need?

When we discover who we really are, we stop living on auto-pilot and start to live with intention, focus and purpose. Our choices become clearer. We begin to make active choices in our life, instead of making excuses or passively living with the status quo.

Here are a few questions to get you started. Have a journal or some way to record your thoughts. (Writing by hand keeps you in touch with your breath and your heart.) Read the full article

Do Not Miss a Step: Take Time to Celebrate

The path of a goal, whether a goal set for your personal life or in the course of business, is generally seen as having four steps:

1) assess the situation
2) set goals for how you want it to be
3) take steps to achieve the goals and
4) achieve the goals (completion).

After Step 4, many people return to Step 1 with the question: “OK, what’s next?” And then it’s on to Step 2 and 3 and 4 again.

Hold on. Stop right there. There is actually a very important fifth step that many of us leave out. Step 5 is where we celebrate our achievements! Read the full article

Change

“ Security is mostly a superstition, it does not exist in Nature, nor do the children of men as whole experience it. Avoiding danger is no safe in the long run than outright exposure. Life is either a daring adventure, or nothing.” Helen Keller

Scientist tell us that the only constant in the universe is change. That the universe is constantly expanding; and with that expansion comes change. So, why are so many human beings intimidated by change, or the mere thought of doing something differently? Even in the most basic of ways, sometimes? Change moves us forward. It’s where new concepts, ideas, inventions, new opportunities and new ways of living life come about, and are acted upon! Imagine if nothing ever changed...Read the full article

The Timeline

This past Sunday, on the 10th anniversary of 9/11, I am sure many of us relieved that day. We can all recall with clarity rare to ten year old memories where we were when we first heard of the attack, and how we spent the day huddled around televisions and radios awaiting more information. When I think back to 9/11 there is one personal story that I want to share with you today.

On the morning of 9/11 my mom and Gregg, a man who had been a father to me for the past 10 years, were horror struck watching as the terrorist attacks occurred. For various reasons they had been delaying getting married, yet at this time were starting to discuss it as a way to protect each other in the event of one's untimely death. That morning they resolved that by the end of the year they would get married and started making plans to get married around the holidays. However, it was only the end of September that Gregg went into the hospital complaining of pain in the abdomen. On October 1, 2011 he was diagnosed with pancreatic cancer and succumbed to the disease one month later. He and my mother did manage to marry prior to the very end; however they had to jump through a number of bureaucratic hoops to get the marriage license and it eventually took place with only my brother and I as witnesses in the ICU. Read the full article

Communication Habits That Destroy Relationships Part Two

Last month we introduced the first of John Gottman’s Four Horsemen – or communication behaviors that lead to failure. Gottman’s claim to fame is his ability to predict divorce with a 91% accuracy rate, and he bases these conclusions on the communication practices of married couples. The tricky thing about communication is that we must communicate with people all of the time, and in every situation. Applying the lessons Gottman offers about marital communication to all of our relationships not only improves our personal relationships, it improves our professional relationships and personal perceptions of self-worth. Last month we covered the first two horsemen, criticism and contempt and this month we cover the final two, defensiveness and stonewalling. Take the time to review all four and discuss your communication with someone you trust. If you recognize your relationships in any of the four horsemen behaviors know that if you want to keep the relationship, the communication has to change. To review last month's article please click here

Communication Habits that Destroy Relationships

If someone who could predict with 91% accuracy whether or not your communication habits would lead to failure in your business and personal relationships, you would probably give them your undivided attention, wouldn’t you? Luckily, a scientist by the name of John Gottman has made that claim. Through years of systematic study, he has discovered four communication habits that will destroy relationships. Gottman calls these traits the 4 Horsemen of the Apocalypse and according to him they normally appear in this order; criticism, contempt, defensiveness, and stonewalling. This month we take a deeper look at the first two horsemen, and next month we examine the last 2 horsemen and how they all work
together to destroy relationships. Read the full article here

Waiting For Saturday

The other day I overhead a couple of older women talking to each other and it really struck me when one of them noted that another Saturday was coming up. Listening to this, I knew that Saturday, for these women, was just another day that was going to pass until they eventually died. The waiting to pass on. and the counting of the days until that point, had become the main focus of their lives. This made me think about what Saturdays mean to the rest of us – for some, it is the day we live for. For others, Saturday holds significance because we know that we ought to be doing something other than working yet we get up and head into the office anyway. So what does Saturday
mean to you? Is this meaning one that suggests an imbalance in your life? Read the full article here

Becoming a Transformational Leader

What do you think of when you picture a leader? For most of us, myself included, we still envision some sort of cross between a powerful executive and a general leading troops into battle. A type of person born with a charisma that gives them an unspoken authority – even though that type of leadership no longer works in as many places as it once did. Read Full Article Here.

Book Review: Fierce Conversations

Of the many books I have read on leadership and communication, Fierce Conversations by Susan Scott has really stood out to me over the years. Although it has been at least five years since I read the book, the points she makes about open and honest communication have resonated deeply with me. Read Full Article Here.

Mid Year Goal Check Up: 5 Steps to Get Back On Track

About this time of year many of us have lost track of the goals we set at the start of the year. Life has gotten in the way of our best made plans in many cases and in others we just seemed to have lost the momentum we started the year with. Take some time now for a quick mid-year goal review that will get you back on the road to accomplishment in five easy steps. Read Full Article Here.

Review: Leadership From The Inside Out

What is leadership? This question, in some form or another, comes up in nearly all of my sessions as a coach. One reason for this is that leadership is truly important to me, and I think leadership goes beyond a title, beyond behavior and directly to the core of who a person is. In fact, I believe that it would be impossible to lead unless one approaches it personally. This means that no explanation can accurately describe leadership for everyone – understanding it may be one of the most important personal journeys you will take in life. Speaking from personal experience, the question of how I lead and how I serve constantly informs me in my business and my personal life. Read Full Article Here.

Are You Acting Like A Child?

When was the last time you acted like a child? I'm not talking about pouting or throwing a temper tantrum when you didn't get your way – I'm talking about having fun and playing!
Often as adults we get caught up in the seriousness of life. We have bills to pay, work to complete, a house that needs cleaning, homework to help with, dinner to make... just reading that list exhausts me, how about you? Given this, how can we possibly have any time to play or explore our curiosity? Only when we make play the priority in our life it deserves and needs to be. Read Full Article Here.

The Fire of Your Dreams!

Being an Olympic torch bearer was truly humbling as I carried the torch and looked at its flame thought back to the journey my parents made when leaving Germany to come to Canada after WWII. I phoned and thanked my Mom for her choice and she cried as she talked about leaving her family to come to Canada. She followed my Dad 2 years after he came to prepare a place for her. The goal my parents set was one of vision and faith. They wanted to raise their family in the best place on earth. My phone call was the icing on the cake for my mom. Read Full Article Here.

What Do You Have To Teach?

Think of all the teachers you have had in your life – those that held the title of teacher, boss or parent and those that held no title at all. As children we had many formal teachers, yet some of the more impressive life lessons we learned probably came from our peers. Who taught you how to be a friend? Who taught you how not to be a friend? Where did you learn what music to listen to or how to dress as a teenager – going out on a limb here, I am going to guess it wasn't your parents! Who taught you how to treat your employees? Did you learn more from your best boss or your worst in terms of motivating those around you? What lessons have you learned from your significant other? Read Full Article Here.

"New Year" Energy Everyday

A New Year is, when it comes right down to it, arbitrary. In truth, it is nothing more than a changing date, another day passing. Yet the significance we attach to the changing of the year affects all of us more than any other day passing. The reason for this? It reminds us to look backward at the past year and to look forward into the next year. We tend to think back over all the change brought by a single year and to honestly reflect on our life. We also feel that a New Year offers us the chance to do something differently, to move forward to our next goal in life, or make little corrections for the course we are currently on. I think that we need more “New Years” throughout the year. We need to set aside time to reflect on our lives and look at our future regularly instead of just once every year. Read Full Article Here.

Think Small

I have noticed that when we set out to make big changes in our lives we instantly start with the big steps. If we want to be happier we consider major changes in our family or business lives. If we want to get into a better financial situation we tend to drastically overhaul our budget or if we want to get healthier we throw away all of our junk food and vow to only eat salads from now on. While making all the changes we want to see at once would be awesome if we could manage it, in truth we actually tend to set ourselves up for failure. The change seems to large to comprehend so we procrastinate instead of starting it, or we beat ourselves up the second we deviate from the plan. Quite often the only thing we end up with is a heavy sense of guilt at our failure. Read Full Article Here.

The Flip Side of Personal Growth

I have been guilty of it too many times to count. When I am working on a tough, deeply personal goal that involves changing something about myself, I tend to get wrapped up in my own challenges. After all, it is my struggle. Nobody else can experience the frustrations or victories I feel in my pursuit of this goal, yet I know that everyone will feel the benefits of my success. Whether I am working on creating a successful business, earning a promotion or breaking a bad habit, I am motivated by the thought of creating a better life for the people I love. Chances are, you too get stuck in this train of thought too. Unfortunately, this focus on our own quest to achieve a goal often proves to be the one thing that prevents us from achieving it, and that's because like everything else in life, personal growth cannot happen in a vacuum. Read Full Article Here.

The Power of Negative Thinking

When something traumatic happens in our life – we lose our top client, our job, discover that we are sick, or separate from our spouse we are often told to focus what we have left. The common wisdom is that thinking about the good things will help us avoid the depression that may follow an event like this. While this works to some degree, new research suggests that thinking about what life would be like if we subtracted one of the “things we have left” may actually make us feel much better. Read Full Article Here.

How Do You Define Success?

What do you think of when you think of a successful person? If you are like most of us you expect that a successful person will be one who has made a lot of money or has achieved some degree of distinction in their field. If pressed however, you would agree that the man who has kept his commitment of 20 hours of quality time per week with his family while earning a comfortable living has been successful. Few among us would hesitate to agree that the single mother who finishes her degree, obtains a good job and sends both of her children through college has achieved success. We often think enviously of the person who gives up on the rat race and finds a way to support their dream of surfing full time as having achieved something most of us only dream of; so why do we automatically think of a "successful" person in terms of dollars or fame? Read Full Article Here.

Letting Go of The Expert

When I first encountered this concept of letting go of the expert, I thought: That is crazy, I've educated myself and worked hard to become an expert, why would I let it go?! Perhaps the most understandable way to start this discussion is to discover what is an expert. Webster's defines an expert as: A person with a high degree of knowledge or skill in a particular area. Some synonyms: master, proficient, and whiz. The suggestion is that you have arrived, and your work is done. OK, that sounds pretty good, so why do I want to let go of that? Read Full Article Here.